Unconventional strategy 5

Unconventional strategy 5: Identify projects that can help you get a feel for a new line of work or style of working. Try to do these as extracurricular activities or parallel paths so that you can experiment seriously without making a commitment.

Think in terms of side projects and temporary assignments, not binding decisions. Pursue these activities seriously, but delay commitment. Slowly ascertain your enduring values and preferences, what makes you unique in the world. Just make sure that you vary your experiments, so that you can compare and contrast experiences before you narrow your options.

Unconventional strategy 6: Don’t just focus on the work. Find people who are what you want to be and who can provide support for the transition. But don’t expect to find them in your same old social circles.

Break out of your established network. Branch out. Look for role models—people who give you glimpses of what you might become and who are living examples of different ways of working and living. Most of us seek to change not only what we do; we also aspire to work with people we like and respect and with whom we enjoy spending our precious time.

Unconventional strategy 7: Don’t wait for a cataclysmic moment when the truth is revealed. Use everyday occurrences to find meaning in the changes you are going through. Practice telling and retelling your story. Over time, it will clarify.

Major career transitions take three to five years. The big “turning point,” if there is one, tends to come late in the story. In the interim, make use of anything as a trigger. Don’t wait for a catalyst. What you make of events is more important than the events themselves. Take advantage of whatever life sends your way to revise, or at least reconsider, your story. Practice telling it in different ways to different people, in much the same way you would revise a résumé and cover letter for different jobs. But don’t just tell the story to a friendly audience; try it out on skeptics. And don’t be disturbed when the story changes along the way.

Unconventional strategy 8: Step back. But not for too long.

When you get stuck and are short on insight, take time to step back from the fray to reflect on how and why you are changing. Even as short a break as a day’s hike in the country can remove the blinders of habit. But don’t stay gone too long, or it will be hard to reel yourself back in. Only through interaction and active engagement in the real world do we discover ourselves.

Unconventional strategy 9: Change happens in bursts and starts. There are times when you are open to big change and times when you are not. Seize opportunities.

Windows of opportunity open and close back up again. We go through periods when we are highly receptive to major change and periods when even incremental deviations from “the plan” are hard to tolerate.^[5] Take advantage of any natural windows (e.g., the period just after an educational program or assuming a new position; a milestone birthday) to start off on the right foot. Communicate to others that you have changed (and will be making more changes). Watch out for the insidious effect of old routines. Progress can be served by hanging in limbo, asking questions, allowing time and space to linger between identities. But don’t let unanswered questions bog you down; move on, even if to an interim commitment.